Benjamin Disraeli - nineteenth-century statesman, literary figure and first Earl of Beaconsfield - is the one most often attributed with the saying, "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and peesticks." It's true, you can go and look it up yourself*.

It's possible I've already ovulated. I'm confused because it didn't come up on my OPKs this time. Now, I know those things don't always work, but every single month so far since I started using them**, they've shown a very clear second line which concurs with a very clear thermal shift and secondary fertility signs. But not this month. No, not the month I actually *really need* to pinpoint ovulation so I can plan an international flight for my upcoming FET. This month I get zip; snowy, snowy expanses of white; nuttin. And a very lacklustre thermal shift to go with it. So the question is this: what the fuck, guys?

But let me be more specific: have I really ovulated, when, and what day should I book my plane ticket even if I did, given my luteal phase seems to vary from 12 to 16 days? And shouldn't I get off my arse and book that appointment with the man I hope to make my Singapore obstetrician, despite the fact I can't think of a better acronym for him than SOB***?

Perhaps it's worth making a bit of a review here:

• Sore breasts - check.
  
• Breast size has increased by half a cup - check.
  
• Fertile cervical mucous - check. Not very convincing, but check.
  
• Frenzy of setting up alternative blogs, engaging in online bioethical debates, looking up postgraduate master's courses, buying copious reading materials and enrolling in Chinese language classes - check****.
  
• Ovulation pains - er... check. Even though I seem to have noted them first on the left, then the right, then both sides at once and finally back on the right, which is somewhat dubious.
  
• [Ahem, hem] Or.ga.sm feels different - check. Why is this one not mentioned in FF? It's the most consistent sign I know. Also - what the heck happened to those hot, luscious ovulatory urges I look forward to every month? Not check. Very cheated about that.
  
• Thermal shift and FF coverline - check. More or less. Well, the coverline is dotted.
  

I think I'd better buy a ticket. A flexible one.

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*Huh. Well, there you go. I still think my version's better.

**ie Twice.

***Suggestions appreciated. I believe he's really nice.

****And my mother asks what I do all day.

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UPDATE: after going through the bathroom bin looking at old, musty peesticks (come on - you would too, probably have done once or twice) it appears I do have a second line on one of them. Which one, I wonder? It was towards the bottom of the bin. Possibly from day fourteen or fifteen. Damnit, why did I have to fuck this up? Why did I have to fuck this up the month I'm trying to fly around Chinese New Year, the biggest holiday in the entire calendar like, as in, more biggerer than Christmas? Do you know how many Singaporeans have family in Australia?

Also, I booked my appointment with SOB. Still after suggestions for a better name.

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Me! Me! I've got news!

Well, after traipsing around all evening being told by various travel agents that flights were booked out til March, I have managed to hook myself up with something online. Phew! Worried? Me?

I'm travelling on the 9th. Let's hope I got my dates right.